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" ...I am so grateful and so very excited for my future. This no longer feels like life sentence and transplant  helped me in ways it never thought possible...

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When I started this crazy journey of getting Islet Cells, I was frequently asked what is the first thing I would eat or drink if I came off insulin. I never really had a good answer because I never really hated my diet and the restrictions it had.  I did have a list of things I wanted to try guilt free, without worry over portion sizes and carb counting.  Frappuccino’s and milkshakes were on the top of that list. Turns out I didn’t enjoy them any more now than I did before. I was disappointed, isn’t being a type 1 diabetic all about the food? I had hoped indulging in sugar and sweets would be more satisfying. 

 

So instead, I started a list of all the little things that made me smile. Not waking up every few hours to unwrap my insulin pump from around my waist. The silence of not constantly hearing beeps and alarms as I became hypoglycemic or hyperglycemia. Since coming off insulin not one person has asked me what my “pager” was for. My purse, jeep, bedroom, and locker have remained empty of supplies and snacks. I haven’t worn an infusion site that has been ripped off after getting stuck in a door. I love randomly showing my friends and coworkers my blood sugar and having them be genuinely excited and celebrate with me. Exercising free of any hypoglycemic worries. I’m not really sure how to describe it but I suddenly feel like I have all of this emotional, physical and mental space in my life that I can start filling with things I really care about. 

 

A while ago I had gone to Dublin with a friend and we were walking through a park when my blood sugar began rapidly dropping. She sat patiently with me as I binged on fruit snacks, which weren’t helping, and eventually she gave me glucagon fully prepared to call an ambulance. I know I scared her and I know for the rest of our trip she watched me closely. The guilt I feel over that will remain with me always. I’m not blind to the concerns others have for me but I find peace in the thought my people can breathe a little easier. 

 

All I know and remember is how to be a type 1 diabetic and what I needed to survive. Suddenly this weight has been lifted and it has been so cool to explore my new life with all the people who love me and want to celebrate with me.

 

I am filled with so much hope and no longer feel desperate and I will forever be grateful!" 

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Hannah 

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